Because I’m Your Daughter

we share the same forehead (think Tyra Banks)

we share the same face shape (think roti canai)

we share the same issue of baldness (sighhhhh)

we share the same problem of having almost nonexistent eyebrows (omg hahahahha seriously!)

we laughed at stupid things easily

we love speaking at the top of our lungs (yeah we practically go on a yelling match everytime we talk. because we’re loud!)

we have the same taste in men (my dad and Chinaman are surprisingly quite alike. omg……)

we are both silly and disgusting (yes don’t even try asking to what extent. hahahaha)

we are both absent minded

we utter the most ridiculous things ever and still think that they are believeable wtf

we always say the funniest things at the wrong time

taken while waiting for our flight home from kuala terengganu (ignore my face)

i am sorry that i’d never taken the time to understand you. i’m sorry that i’d never allowed you into my life. i’m sorry that i was so rude to you before. i’m sorry that afterall the advices you gave me i still let you down. i’m sorry that i always talk back at you. i’m sorry that i made you cry countless times. i’m sorry that i didn’t willing to tell you things about myself. i’m sorry that i didn’t give you the mother and daughter relationship that other people have/you wished to have. i’m sorry that i’ve used up your hard earned money for my degree. i’m sorry that i didn’t lessen your workload by helping out in doing chores. i’m sorry that i’d once thought of wanting another mother. i’m sorry for saying things that hurt your feelings. but i am glad that we’re closer than we thought we were and i really love you ma. i hope that the next mother’s day you won’t have to work like how you always do to make our lives a little more comfortable.

what’s with the face? cannot kiss meh????!!!

the round face we both share

Happy Mother’s Day. I love you.

hohoho! you’re such a cool mom. me love.

How not to?

Throughout my life, I’ve been meeting people from all walks of life. Some are such angels that you just feel like picking them up and put them on your shelf for display (wtf) but some are like devils whom you feel like kicking them to the curb and spit on them. Yeah that’s how bad those people can be and how bitchy I CAN BE.

Am I destined to meet people who treat me like trash? Or at least spare me a life I have my own too. I am in no place to judge a person but I certainly can sense it when a person is being nice or rude. I don’t really care if you are a friend but treating others like trash isn’t the right thing to do. Sometimes in the state of confusion, frustration, anger or panic can make you a lot worse than who you really are. And I can relate. Yes I was stressed, I was frustrated, I was panic and I was angry. But it wasn’t all my fault you know? And I can’t help but to put the blame on you, well partly. You neglected our group project because you didn’t have time for your own. I am not trying to be an insensitive bitch here but look, you can cost us our 50% off our finals. We are third year students. Show some responsibilities or at least, show some sense of commitment. You are committed but to a certain extent, it turned out to be the wrong kind of commitment. You suggested us to do unnecessary things and it wasn’t even relevant to our work. If you were to do it, don’t drag us in. You can settle your own little “task”. The whole group against it. And I thought it would be some masterpiece but it ended up like an elementary school work. You can’t blame us for not putting your work in.

Also, your part of task wasn’t what we wanted and I particularly asked you to ammend it. Did you? No. You chose to tell me “I will do it when I’m done with my individual assignment”. And in the end, you still didn’t ammend the shit you pooped out. Alright, so we all didn’t have time to do the ammendments for you but no, it’s not a small part. It’s two huge part of our assignment. The introduction and the conclusion. We have to give an impact at the beginning and the end of the assignment but now it turned out crappy. So what kind of impression will it leaves the lecturer with? Effortless. Yeah that was what it tells me.

And you came in 2 hours late on the day we turned it in and you dared to leave early before we could actually include your part into our compilation. Actually we could have handed in 2 hours earlier than expected but because of you we handed in 2 hours later than the deadline. How could you? Have you any sense at all? I guess not. Sorry is not enough. I was angry to the extent that I wish not to speak to you again because clearly you did not take our work seriously. It was a group work not an individual. I don’t care how you fucked your individual work but I certainly do not wish to see you fuck ours. So what if it was your bf’s birthday? I didn’t celebrate my bf’s bday because we (me and bf) were busy working on our group project too. And you were part of it but you acted as if it was only mine and bf’s. So much for everything we’ve done for the group. Sometimes it makes me wonder if you’re that worthy of my anger.

I’ve tried so hard not to judge you but you do not give me any credibility not to. But I’m glad that the nightmare’s over. This tells me that you have to be wise in choosing the people you work with because the wrong people just fuck you up nicely and they won’t even feel sorry bout it.

Stupid hair

Been blogging since form 3 way before this blogging hype that’s happening right now and I seriously am sick of it already. I think it’s all because of the frequent change of blog host and even though I really like wordpress but I STILL DISLIKE THE FACT THAT WE CANT CHANGE OUR LAYOUTS IF WE’RE NOT PREMIUM MEMBERS. I miss blogspot already sigh. I still remember using blogspot for the first time and I was a total noob hohoho. Then I got sick of blogspot and went on to blogcity (which I hate because I didn’t blog for 3 months and they deleted all my old entries wtfknnccb!). There I introduced blogging to Chinaman and we both had a blog (form 4 and 5 i think). And I seriously wanna read the entries you wrote when we were dating la. YOU SHOULD HAVE SHOWN ME BEFORE THE STUPID BLOGCITY DELETED THOSE PRIVATE POSTS OF YOURS I’M SO ANGRY I WANNA BITE MY FINGERS OFF WTF.  Sick of blogcity I went back to blogspot, blogdrive, multiply and next to livejournal because I can lock my entries there. hohoho. And then I went back to blogspot (again!) and now to wordpress. I have a sudden pang of changing back to blogspot which is why I don’t reveal my blog to my friends because I kept changing it and eventually they got sick of linking me T.T I didn’t let people know due to personal reasons too. Oh well… Oh I also have a shared blog with Chinaman and hahaha I love that blog to bits but sadly we’ve stopped blogging there huh? Don’t let it die please! It brings back memories of us wayyyyyyyyyyyyy before we’re what we are now. And we can let our kids read it wtf.

 

I TRIMMED MY OWN BANGS AND I LOOK LIKE SHIT RIGHT NOW I’M SO TRAUMATISED I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. Yeah la I did it under exam stress. Mabuk exams what. I tend to cut my own hair when I’m stressed and Syed was like “You look like a Japanese girl now” which I beg to differ. I think I look more like an idiot with a bad haircut. Pfffft! Oh oh! I’m so free to update right now cuz my next paper is next Thursday hohoho! But I totally screwed the rest la. Stupid UBB. Stupid HRM. And EBE omg kill me already! Okay. I enjoy talking to myself and I guess I’ll put it to an end before I sound like a lunatic. Pictures after exams la. Ciao my bella wtf.

Networking

“You will never know when you will need help from them.”

How many times do you find yourself making friends with the above reason? All the time? Or do you sincerely just want to be friends because you like them? It got me thinking for a bit when I went through my EBE notes on Europe. Jean Monnet, the father of networking, brought hope to Europe through its networking skills. And a special someone said to me that you have to be nice to everyone because you wouldn’t know when you will need help from them.

Networking and making friends are two different thing. And it’s true. When was the last time you hangout with someone because you truly enjoy the company and not because you need something from them?

I don’t befriend a person for the reason that I may need something from them in future. I don’t play nice just because he/she may be useful to me. I only get to know people and befriend with them if I truly like them. This explains why I have very little friends. I don’t choose my friends but I won’t play nice if I don’t like someone. It’s easy to tell. I can’t hide my emotions. If I dislike you, it shows. If I don’t like you, I am quiet when you’re around. If I get to know you better and I like you, I’ll go on talking like there’s no tomorrow. So what’s this shit bout you treat people good because you wanna use them in future? I mean it’s unpredictable la but you can’t always meet people with that kinda mentality right? It’s so wrong. It’s different though if you were to meet people on a business trip or any kind of formal events because certainly you’re not there to make friends. You’re there because you wanna meet people that can be influential to your business or whatever you’re doing.  I was told that in order to succeed, you have to have a certain level of networking and social skills because you will need all the help you can get. And to a point, I believed. Success does not come purely through diligence but also through people you meet in the process of whatever you’re doing. But then again, that’s not making friends. So that’s in a whole different context.

Yeah la you may say through those formal networking you will also form friendships that you never imagine having but if that happens (and it happens, i know) then good for you la. From a not so right mentality of meeting people you get good friends what. NIce right? But right now I’m not talkin bout networking so…

It’s just sad that people often use each other and they totally forget bout the true meaning behind friendship. Be it with lecturers, your classmates, your colleagues, or even your gym friends, there is a fine line between purely networking and making friends. And seriously, another line of “you will never know when you need help from them” will get the look or maybe a say from me.

You may not agree, but then again, these are just my thoughts. Meh.

Back at square one

When 2 people have stopped being polite and started to get on each other’s nerves

When 2 people ceased to understand each other and refused to give in

When 2 people are tired of each other’s excuses and begin to go on a yelling match

When 2 people see each other in a different light

 

How far can they go?

Many times we find ourselves trying too hard and taking things too seriously, we end up hurting other people. Holding grudges is what I do best, finding faults is my forte and winning an argument is what I must do. All these have caused me a lot of troubles that I would never, for once, favour to seek. Insecurities, jealousy and ego have constantly reminded me that there must be a story behind every tale and that it has to be a negative one. I have only seen things in a negative way and that’s how I liked it to be. And for that, it almost costed me you. I know I have been hard to deal with and I definitely is not the easiest going person in the world but for you, I am willing to see where I’m wrong at. I am willing to go pass my ego and feed on yours instead. Ah…silly me. But seriously, I hope by saying this, I won’t turn you into an egoistic maniac because that is something that I will never learn to tolerate.

After all these years, I found myself back at square one, with so much more to learn. And I am willing to =)

My ego is as big as your nose. Meh.

Why am I so stupid?

Today, I punched myself in the eye. Hahahhahahaha! I was talking to Chinaman while pulling and tugging on the pillows and his fat ass body was all over the pillows so I had to pull harder to get the pillow. Guess what? The pillow slipped outta my hand and wham! My fist landed on my left eye. Babi sial. Keganasan domestic! even though it’s self-inflicted. Bodoh maximum.

As a result, I had a slightly swollen eye with lotsa red veins. Damn pain okay!

The left eye.

The right eye. Yeah la. It’s red, swollen and veiny too cuz I punched it to make it equal wtf. No la stupid. It’s like this due to lack of sleep and dryness.

Conclusionnyer, punch or no punch no difference. They always end up looking punched anyway. And if you notice, I don’t have lower lash. Got la but it’s like bulu kaki Chinaman. SO LITTLE AND THIN! AND SHORT! AND…..don’t know. It just looks botak to me compared to the top lashes.

Whatever la. Asian what. Sikit bulu kan? Nanti macam Cecilia Cheung or Gillian Chung mati habis wtf. God knows if having nice lashes and hair on the head need sacrfice from the other area…..such as underarms. hohoho!

 

Another major bimbo moment from yours truly, the balding woman wtf.

xoxo, you know you love me =)

Nen nen

Lay Hui: Woman!

Me: Yayaya.

Lay Hui: Saw your prom pictures..

Me: You wanna say my nen nen very big issit.

Lay Hui: I’m not the first one to say ah?

Me: -.-”

 

Maybe I shouldn’t post those pictures up afterall. But whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I’m convinced I’m not a washboard anymore. Wahahaha. Take that! Whoever who said I was flat-chested wtf.

———————-

Stressed nyer. Exam’s next week. And I found myself surfing the net religiously when exam’s around the corner. I’m such a role model right? And I think I’m getting this cramp and it is starting to hurt right now. Shouldn’t have eaten cornetto, asam laksa and the sour grape thingy i bought. I’m such a glutton. Nen nen tak tumbuh baru miracle I tell you. And in the process, the face turns into a full size billboard wtf. Why is my life such a tragedy T.T

Oh oh oh!!! I was watching videos on youtube. And I got hooked watching this Russian pornstar looking chic teaching origins of words. Hahaha. And I wasn’t actually paying attention to what she was saying but I enjoy looking at her boobs (fake and saggy!) and her teasefulness wtf. She’s such an effing tease. I think I was born a man in my past life tsk. Oh her youtube name is Hotforwords (her website. go watch her lessons!!!). B! Go watch la you’ll like it wtf. Suddenly I feel so intellectual watching her. If all the teachers in the world is like her, I think being a student will be the happiest thing of every guy’s life. And imagine nobody wants to work but just being a student. Then the women will dominate the world!!! And the men will continue doing what they do best that is to wank until their nose bleed wtf. Muahahahhahaha. Such a feminist. But seriously, why do people constantly exploit themselves in a sexual way to gain something? Sex sells, I know. But all this is in exchange of dignity and self-respect, no? Imagine your sister doing this on youtube. Hahahhahahaha. Or your girlfriend. Or your mom wtfness. I think I will laugh until my nose bleed -.-” Ya allah.

Protected: “And if I did look at her, so what? What’s your problem?” A deal breaker.

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Protected: with this knife, i’ll be scarred for life.

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Minta maaf cikgu. Saya tidak menghantar kerja rumah.

It’s 2am and I am chewing on a piece of fried chicken. Talk about having a fat face la. Yeah, I have an ulcer. And it hurrrrtttttttttttttttttttts. But I don’t care because I can. Meh.

Right. So, I wanna talk about me again Hehe. Today I was supposed to hand in IBS 2 and EBE. Buttttttttttttttttt..the Duli Yang Maha Mulia Me only managed to hand in EBE. Where’s IBS 2 you wonder? Belum siappp!!!! Yeah la so the assignment constitutes a 40% to my overall grade and late submission only deems a mere 5 marks off the total per day so….to sum it up..that’s like 2% off my grade only what. So I give it to you Nottingham pffft. Ceh wah. So arrogant right? So right now, I am slaving away doing IBS 2 and I still have UBB waiting for me to become the most eligible kuli ever. I love my life T.T

Ps: Some people can be so selfish. I should have gotten used to it by now….